Choices

Cape Cod Marathon 2013

Life comes down to choices. We either accept or reject circumstances. If it's a nice day, we can go for a walk or stay on the couch and keep watching TV. Someone wrongs us and we can either forgive them and move on, or become bitter and resentful.

Choices can be easy and other times very difficult.

Let's say someone cuts me off in traffic, I flip them the bird, and move on. There are times when I have options. For example, I could flip them the bird, blow the horn, and call them a dumb@$$.

All of the above is a choice. :)

Emotionally I have the ability to take every thought captive. I used to be fearful of bridges. Over time, I realized that millions of people cross the bridges on my route. It made it easier to control my fear response. A conscious choice.

Sure, there are circumstances I still choose to fear.

I have made lots of other choices, too. I was thinking about my cancer. I could let it take me down emotionally or choose to live life in spite of what is going on in my body. My choice is how much control I give to it.

My response to a circumstance or event is a choice.

In fact, my life is the sum total of all the choices I have made. I have encountered all sorts of circumstances. Some I accepted, others I rejected. I certainly didn't choose every circumstance in life. Accidents happened. People hurt me. Life happens.

I choose my responses.

In 2011 when I had congestive heart failure, I chose to exercise like I hadn't since college hockey. They told me to walk 3 miles a day. I did. I wanted to run because walking 3 miles a day took too damn long. The cardiologist said to keep my heart rate under 130.

I chose to push it a little.

I got better. I got off the medication. I asked if I can go higher than 130. For me, that was a fast walk. The doc said 150.

I chose to push it a little.

The cardiologist didn't want me to run. I chose to ignore him - sort of. I walked and ran. I kept my heart rate at 150 or below. I would run until it hit 150 and walk until it was back at 120.

I did 3 miles a day at home or in the gym.

I soon registered for a 5K. It was to celebrate 1 year from being in Cardiac ICU. It was a gateway drug and I registered for one after the other. Within 6 months I had registered for a 10K. And another and another... I mean addicts choose not to keep track.

To celebrate 2 years from being in CICU, I registered for my first half marathon.

It really didn't have a choice. I had to do it. In fact my running friends forced me to choose a marathon for my 3rd anniversary. I registered for the Cape Cod Marathon in the fall of 2013. I finally chose the perfect life.

I was healthy, I felt good, and I looked good.

Then came cancer. I was so angry. I had been feeling better than I had since I was 17. There had to be another choice. There wasn't. I had treatment options, but no choices. Today I find myself waiting for treatment again.

Because there is nothing that I can do today, I choose to deal with it when the day comes.

The Journey from MyFitnessPal to Here

Today is Moving Day. I am abandoning my blog at MyFitnessPal because it won't work anymore. Yup, the software gods hate me.This is where my contribution to cyberspace will live for now. It is really a  tough day. I had a streak going since 2011. Never missed a month. I logged on that site everyday. I made some life-long friends and had a lot of laughs.

Man, my life changed during that time. I lost almost 100 pounds. I started running. I beat heart disease, survived melanoma, prostate cancer, and colon cancer. I ran the Boston Marathon, wrote a book, and ran the 6 World Major Marathons.



I got divorced and later met the love of my life. I beat cancer again and again. I kept running when I didn't feel like it. In 2018 I contracted a debilitating and painful neurological condition which causes severe headaches. The lay in bed with the lights out all day kind.

Now I can't work, and I play a little guitar to challenge myself. I run a few days a week. I go to doctors appointments. My blog and website are way out of date, but here I am.

My old blog is here.
https://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/dsjohndrow

My really old blog is here. I can't believe I have been doing this for over 14 years - filling the internet with a bunch of meaningless blather.

http://fireandgrace.blogspot.com/

My return from the dead is now here.

https://icu2marathon.blogspot.com/

So what's coming up?

• More tests
• Another book
• Summer

See you real soon.

My Bucket List

Many of you know that I have been diagnosed with a malignant tumor. Of course, untreated, it's deadly. As it turns out, I ran 2 half marathons, a full marathon, had a 5K PR and a 5 mile PR while having cancer. I am not saying that you should get cancer to run your best, but it's working for me. I won't have any details until Tuesday afternoon. That's when I will find out what the heck is going, how bad it is, and what we are going to do about it.

It's been a long process of blood tests, medication that made me feel like crap, and 3 weeks ago, a surgical biopsy which was pretty gory. Waiting for the results was nerve wracking at moments. I kept busy working on my book from 5 AM until 9 PM, running, praying and being a smartass in my various online groups.

I do have good news. I am running the Boston Marathon in April even if someone has to push me in a wheelchair. I have an application sitting on my desk. As part of the that I am raising funds though a virtual 5K if you feel like running on March 8th, HERE is the info.

The other good news is that a charity I have previously done fundraising for is going to set me up for the Chicago Marathon in October! I will have confirmation once registration opens in February. There is also a possibility of San Francisco too. If you are going to run, you might as well make sure that it counts for something. I hate cancer, and that is what I can do to help.

All this talk of the Big "C" has made me think about what it is that I really want to do before I die. Here is my list. It is just things that interest me or pertain to people I care about. It's entirely selfish, that's why it's my bucket list.

- Take my wife to Hawaii.
- Get my kid a horse and someone to take care of it.
- Run a marathon in Europe.
- Leave instructions for how I want my life insurance spent.
- Be with my family as often I can.
- Drink coffee in the sunshine with Mrs. J.
- Stay under 200 pounds.

That's it. I have pretty much done it all. I have been to 42 states, 13 countries, put kids through college, been married to the best woman in the world and found faith in God.

How about you, do you have a bucket list?

ICU to Marathon - Preface

"ICU to Marathon - Diaries of a Nearly Dead Man" is the magic bullet you’ve been waiting for! To solve all of your health issues, create domestic tranquility and get your whites whiter.

Maybe not.

This running book is not about running, it’s not another fad diet, it’s not a weight loss book, and it’s not a fitness system or a pyramid scheme. I am not another guru with a new "clinically-proven scientific breakthrough" to seduce you with. Yours truly is not an expert, but if I had the chance, I would play one on TV. I hope you’ll find my book inspiring, or, at the very least, as entertaining as a cat might find a mouse stricken with arthritis to be or a teenager with a SmartPhone.

This is the story of a fat guy who became deathly ill in April of 2011 and nearly bought the farm. Despite some negative "expert" opinions from medical experts, that guy decided to make the most of his life, and eventually beat the odds.

That guy was — and is — me; however, I think in reading this book, you’ll find that in many ways, it is a book about you, too.

The two years prior to writing "ICU to Marathon" have been a unique part of life’s journey. Educating myself about health, fitness and nutrition has been a process, through which, I have actually learned more about my faith in God than why flavonoids are good for you. There has been a lot of error and trial as I focused on correcting unhealthy habits. Of course the road to running a marathon, even for a healthy person, is challenging; and for me, many would have argued, impossible.

Like so many others, I have often said, “If I had only known.”

We all seem to have twenty-twenty hindsight, do we not? This book represents a lot of time sifting through the myths, the mystery, the unbelievable claims, the science and the practical day-to-day habits that make solid personal fitness possible. For instance, doctors say that each piece of bacon you eat takes a minute off your life. Based on that data, I should have died in 1886. Sometimes health is matter of common sense, other times it is knowledge, and occasionally, it involves luck. Here is an example; one day I ate a large can of cashews and it cured my IBS symptoms.

From the day I left the Framingham Heart Center, I stubbornly desired to be healthy.

On many of my treks around town today, my route passes by the hospital where I had been in the ICU. In my mind’s eye I would see the monitors, tubes, and wires, hear the beeping machines and the incessant echo of the intercom speakers in the hallways and the condescending words of the doctors who tended to yet another pathetic fifty-something couch-potato that landed in their midst, and then as I pass by, I declare my health and wellbeing. My inner-voice crying out, “never again!”

It’s an honor to be selected to take a spot in the magazine rack in your bathroom. (If you are reading an eBook by the way, for $5.00 more you could have had a printed copy to leave on top of the tank and not have to balance your Nook on your hairy knees.)

I hope you'll learn from my mistakes, enjoy reading about the convoluted road that got me into trouble in the first place and the road that brought me back, nearly, from the dead. I hope you find a laugh here and there — maybe even a laugh about yourself, if you're honest. But most importantly, I hope you find inspiration here; whether you choose to follow me to the starting line one day, or to just start making some smart, healthy choices in life. Sometimes it just helps to know that you're not the only one.

Failure is Not an Option

All of us have felt like, or actually been, failures at some time in our journey. Yesterday, I certainly felt like one. Most of you know that I have written a book about my transformation from heart patient to runner.

My Kickstarter project failed to reach its funding goal.

After all that work, literally months of preparation, there was zero, nada - nothing to show for it.

At 4:44 I watched the last seconds tick away to zero. Within moments, I had an email as proof of my failed mission. I sat there for a while and tried to think about all the things I might have done differently. A few of you had some suggestions.

I couple of you were pi$$ed! I am thanking God I am on your good side. :)

I confess, what was most penetrating were the don't give up now messages and emails from my MFP pals. I sat in my desk chair and thought about canceling my MFP account and disappearing from cyberspace for a while.

I decided to go for a run with the local running club I just joined instead; it was my second run for the day.

On Facebook I just posted the Kickstarter rejection email and left it that. One of my friends suggested I try out RocketHub another crowdfunding site. I kept thinking well, I didn't make once, why would I try it again? This morning I reread a coupled of my messages about not quitting.

Some of you guys kinda of suck... for telling me not to quit when I wanted to.

I clicked on the link for RocketHub and copy and pasted my information from Kickstarter, made a few tweaks, cropped a couple of photos, took out the profit on the book, removed a few rewards and launched my new project.

It was approved in 30 minutes.

This time I will succeed because, as one reader stated, "your message is too important to stay in your head." You know, I believe that because I once ran along side a blind man in a road race. I thought, if he can do it, I certainly can.

In order to succeed, I have lowered my expectations, but I have not changed my goal. I am still going to publish my book.

Failure is not an option.

I appreciate everyone's support from the messages, to the pledges, to posting my link on your social media pages. It has been awesome.

And finally, as another friend wrote on the RockectHub page. "Glad you persisted, I wouldn't have expected any less. :)"

This time around, I need your help. With it, I am going to succeed.

Here's the link to join the party! RocketHub!

What is Wrong With Me?!

I used to be a desk jockey and weighed in just south of 300 pounds. I ate what I felt like, and never gave not eating, or exercising a thought. I got fat enough where I just didn't bother to look in the mirror. Gone were he days of wearing 31" waist jeans. I had ballooned up to 40" with elastic waistbands.

I was obese and I felt tired all the time. My joints ached, my back would go out and leave bedridden for days at a time. I relied on the doctors to medicate my symptoms, but nothing was getting solved because I was not part of the process. I kept doing my thing, and they kept trying to counteract it with drugs. I took anti-inflamatories for my knees, blood pressure meds and an occasional antibiotic if I was sick. And I got sick at least a few times a year.

It was really awful, but I just figured that it was part of getting old.

My health got worse and I ended up in the ICU. It was there my then 7-year-old put her head on my chest and said, "Daddy if you die, who is going to take me to Toy R Us and not tell mommy?"

GASP!

In the weeks following I slept a lot. I did my best to walk a mile a day. It was hard, I was tired all the time and the Bruins won the Stanley Cup. I was prisoner to my own fears of having a heart transplant. I couldn't believe I had wasted over 50 years. Living out the 5 or so years I supposedly had left was my punishment. (You may be familiar with Country star Randy Travis. He is now going through the same thing except I did not have a stroke to make things worse.)

I was depressed and kept to myself. I didn't tell anyone how really terrified I was of living as a sick man for whatever months or years were left.

For those that follow me, you know how it turns out.

 Things are different now. Yesterday's run for instance. I was sweating so much that when I got home, taking off my running shirt was like a skunk sausage giving birth to the moon. There I was screaming in front of the bathroom mirror crowning! It wasn't pretty.

That's my new life.

Now my life expectancy is probably more closely related to what I say to my wife, which side of the road I run on, and how I ride my motorcycle than it is to my heart condition - or lack thereof.

I have been writing this blog for 2 years. Together we've laughed about my pants falling down in airport security. You followed the journeys to my first 5K, 10K and 1/2 marathons. It's really been a bit surreal. Some of you I have met at races, others I feel like I know anyway. This once, I'd like to ask a favor. Would you consider supporting my book project if you haven't done so already? You can do it for as little as a $1.00.

I'd really appreciate if you would at least watch the video of me being silly. The outtakes are probably the best part.

Feel guilty yet? Good, now go pledge something! :)

Rocket Hub

Thanks for being on the journey, for your friendship and your support. David

Reasons Why I Run and You Should Too!

When people ask, why I run? I usually answer with why don't you run? I am sort of a smarta$$, but I did think about it. I don't really like, or even love running. For me it's mostly one pain followed by another, sweating like a pig, and taking time from other things I'd like to be doing like sitting on the couch eating bonbons.

Oh, that's right, I already did that and felt like crap.

Everyone has different reasons to run here are some of mine.

I run because...

...walking is too slow.

...I can run for those that can't, raising money for research.

...I like being around runners - well, not the snobby ones.

...I can compete against myself.

...the shoes are cool.

...I sweat and then I pretend I mowed the lawn.

...someday I may need to run from the cops.

...I am on fire and never learned stop, drop and roll.

...to get thin.

...a marathon is on my bucket list.

...it's good for my heart.

...it's good for my head.

...it's good for my soul.

...it's good for the companies that sell running shoes.

...I can leave the troubles of the day behind.

...it saves on gas (but not on bananas).

...I can relax.

...I can listen to my thoughts.

...it keeps me healthy.

...it makes me feel alive (so does sex and coffee), but it's hard to beat endorphins.

...it's the place where no one can find me.

As always, thanks for the shares and comments. You guys, rock!
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If you like this blog, you might want to consider reading my new book - but at least watch the video and have a smile or two. It's HERE.